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Saturday, December 8, 2018

Thank you, mom and dad, friends, sorry for the pain and hurt that you are experiencing.

Thank you, mom and dad, friends, sorry for the pain and hurt that you are experiencing.

One thing I know is your child is under stress, extreme stress by themselves or adults. We need to understand them.
Stress season of US is highest in January: with the soaring of death, and cardiovascular stroke. Maybe they are too stress because enjoying time passed, boring stressful work begin and stressful paying credit cards for the amount that overspend before Holiday, New Year'Eve, and black Fridays. School also make American stress. The number of death reduced substantially during summer vacation, and the number of injury for kids is increased, maybe the kids play more freely than other time.
One thing to check about the effect of schooling in society: look at the diagram of the death rate between America and Europe with Australia and New Zealand. The pattern is so obviously opposite according to the different school schedule and summer vacation.
Best of all:
Embrace him with love, connection, free stress environment, and chances of joy, happiness to build his abilities. Stress dominates him that he is out of control. Think of meditation.
All of these will soothe the overactive or stressed mind. Think of the moment you are under extreme stress, you may react like him, you may hurt other unconsciously.

        The four causes of human problems

The four causes of human problems
1. Lack of connection
All beings: parents, people, adults, kids, brothers, nature, trees, animals, and natural living environment; technology devices make this lacking worsen.
2. Lack of love
Unconditional love, unconditional support, and love come from understanding. Most of the love they received are angry love, blind love, ignorant love, greedy love, selfish love, and conditioned love; receiving these love making them more painful and stressful.
3. Stressful environment
Stress from family: parents, sibling, and adults; school: teachers, friends, subject, and tests; environment: all things they see as the threatening. They do not get enough love, connection, ability and understanding to overcome the mild unwanted problems.
4. Lack of skill, abilities, knowledge, right understanding or ignorance
Lack of essential skills and ability make them left behind. Conditioned love, lack of connection and many threatening make them do not feel safe enough to learn more, do more, try more, ask more and play more to gain real powers, strength, and abilities. They misunderstand many essential things, and conflicts in human society as threatening.
They are not understood by adults that they real things they need is unconditional love, connection, close contact, and supportive environment to feel safe to gain essential skills to understand and deal well with the problems they meet.
Retrieved from: Awaken You Wonderful We
The best combination of love, connection, and good understanding creates individual’s ability. Love, connection, and understanding of environment create inspiration, motivation, and safety for children to learn more, do more and risk more. These lead to strong abilities of the children. The best combination of love, connection, and understanding helps ordinary children become geniuses; and help them achieve far more success in life than ordinary people can imagine. On the other hand, the worst combination may create the pain, fear, sadness, disappointment, hurt, wound, depression, and anxiety to the children. The smart children may affect extremely stressed if they live under the worst combination of these four factors. The lack of love, lack of connection, lack of understanding, stressful problems, and stressed state of mind interact with each other form a circle of cause and effect or a dot of cause and effect. Gradually, countless vicious circles are formed. The connection of these circles creates the downward spiral or downward life. The circle of cause and effect leave mark on thought, belief, brain structure, emotional life, spiritual life, cognitive thinking, gene, physical body, metabolism, skills, talent, ability, cognitive behaviors, and habits of the children. Gradually, children may affect some mental diseases, social problems, health problems, and bad characters.
On the bright side, we live in the society where there are talented people, genius, the saints, great men, and successful people; all of them grew up with naked small children. On the contrary, there also are the criminals, the slaughters, the poor, the disabled, the ill, and many miserable people in our society; all of them also grew up from naked small children. Some people are the sufferers of living environment; in other words, they are the creators of their destiny.
What is the best combination of these four factors, what is the worst combination of these four factors? There is no exact answer, the combination is not only the science of achievement but also is the art of living well. Parents and leaders have to use the head and the heart to get the understanding; then they need to use the head and heart in serving and using the art of reward and punishment.
“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more, and become more, you are a leader.” John Quincy Adams
I will prove the assumption in table fourteen “The four main causes cause most of the problems” by the theory and the knowledge that I know. I hope that researchers and statisticians will quantify these causes, and carry out the treatment to the needed people.
First, I will use the mental disorders with the known symptoms of the disorders but do not fully know the causes. The mental disorder is increasing substantially in our modern society. Most concerns are autism, depression, and ADHD happening to many healthy children without any previous indicators. Especially, the autism causes most of the worry in parents. Even worse, these problems happening to small children seem out of control, it creates stress and worries for many parents. I chose autism as an example because autism has some characters that are not understandable for the researchers, physicians, and scientists. On the other hand, the autistic characters easily explained by the assumption of four causes in table eight.

The signs of Autism, from National Autism Association with my explanation in brackets and italics.
Autism is a neurodevelopmental disorder characterized by:
·         Social impairments (“Lack of interacting skill or social skill, these skills need a lot of effort to study and master”).
·         Cognitive impairments (“Lack of cognitive thinking, this skill is very hard to form and master”)
·         Communication difficulties (“How hard if you have to learn a new language or to live in a new country where there is only has danger? It is harder for the autistic children to learn to speak and read other emotion if the children have no joy or no safety in learning”)
·         Repetitive behaviors (“The signs of the children have very little skill or learn just a few behaviors, they tend to repeat a few behaviors they learned”)
Early Signs:
A person with ASD (Autism spectrum disorder) might:
·         Not respond to their name (“They do not have much impressed with their name, they do not have the feeling of joy or happiness when hearing their name”).
·         Not point at objects or things of interest (“Lack of interest in things. What is your interested when you are fearful, tired and stressed”)
·         Not play “pretend” games (“This game need a lot of cognitive thinking and imaginative thinking, the ability belong to emotional thinking. How hard to play pretend game with police officers, technical engineers or serious people? How easy to play pretend game with healthy children - the ones who have the high imaginative mind, irrational thinking, and little of prejudices?”)
·         Avoid eye contact (“Autistic children do not know to read information from the eye as normal children do”)
·         Want to be alone (“Lack of all vital social skills so the best way is to stay away from crowd. They have suffered enough how painful when they contact with other. Sadly, this pain may come from the beloved ones”)
·         Have difficulty understanding or showing understanding, or other people’s feelings or their own. (“Autistic children lack the emotional intelligence so that they lack understand other and understand themselves”)
·         Have no speech or delayed speech (“How hard for a child to learn to talk? Lack of love, connection, understanding, and a lot of stressful problems make children afraid to learn to talk. The slower start of speech makes them more stressed than healthy children also”)
·         Repeat words or phrases over and over (“It is very hard to learn, so when they learn anything, especially learning with joy, they tend to repeat that words: let observe the emotion or feeling when the autistic children repeating words”)
·         Give unrelated answers to questions. (“They do not have the cognitive thinking or intelligence to understand the questions and words of questions. They may give unrelated answers. Unfortunately, if autistic children get pain from answering, they may be so much more fearful with the learning that they choose to withdraw from learning”)
·         Get upset by minor changes. (“Living under the constant stressed state caused by living environment, they will be in response or upset with minor changes: minor changes can stimulate the fight or flight in autistic children. You can understand this when you are stressed or angry because of fear, overwork or in the stressful situation. How much love, connection, and understanding you need from your beloved ones?”)
·         Have obsessive interests. (“Autistic children only know very little things, like or love very little things, and these things may bring joy for them. So that they may obsessive with these interests.”)
·         Flap their hands, rock their body or spin in circles. (“Perhaps they learn these behaviors by mimic the behaviors of characters in the shows on television”)
·         Have unusual reactions (over or under-sensitivity) to the way things sound, smell, taste, look or feel. (“The things with sound, smell, taste, look or feel may have some similarity with the stressed situation they have suffered. The familiar sound, smell, taste, look, and feel may appear in the situation that caused negative events in their family. Their unusual reactions are just the conditioned responses”)
·         Have low to no social skills (“Social skills are the hard skills learned from the environment. The autistic children are so much stressed that they learn very little or no social skills, on the other hand, the healthy children have enough joy, love, and connection to learning these social skills”).
·         Avoid or resist physical contact (“Physical contact creates many emotional signals; they will avoid and resist if they do not feel joyful, happy, and peaceful with physical contact. Quick-tempered parents usually make their children do not feel safe with any of their behaviors. Unfortunately, if they do not get enough physical contact, they may be indifference with other people”).
·         Demonstrate little safety or danger awareness. (“The show of lacking abilities”)
·         Reverse pronouns (e.g., says “you” instead of “I”)
People with autism may also:
·         Have unusual interests and behaviors. (“This is because of lacking skills and poor learning abilities”)
·         Have extreme anxiety and phobias, as well as unusual phobias (“Any normal things in the living environment that created or related with their previous the stressed state will become their phobias. New Office workers may fear many things during their first day at work; they may have lot of phobias. Experienced workers are less fearful than new workers are. Phobias come from not understand, misunderstand or previous experience”)
·         Line up toys or other objects. (“Perhaps this is the mark of logical intelligence and spatial intelligence the autistic boys have”).
·         Play with toys the same way every time. (“They learn only few ways to play with toys”)
·         Like parts of objects (e.g., wheels)
·         Become upset by minor changes. (“Minor changes can be interpreted into big threats with stressed people”).
Other Symptoms:
·         Hyperactivity (“A way of reducing stress that they suffered in unusual ways; Moreover, constant acting help release enormous energy in small children”)
·         Impulsivity (“Acting without thinking, they lack emotional intelligence, lack of compassion so that when they are irritating, they usually act with little thinking”)
·         Short attention span (“The stressed state in mind and stress chemicals in body make them lack of concentration.”)
·         Aggression (“Another word of expressing the overreact of hurting people”)
·         Cause self-injury. (“To some extent, the self-injury activities may help them relief with pain in their brain and bodyWho likes tattooing? Who like hurting themselves and others? Do you have any experience that you are so stressed that you want to hurt yourself?”)
·         Meltdowns (“The tension in mind, thinking, and brain will lead to exhaustion very quickly”)
·         Unusual eating and sleeping habits (“Eating and sleeping are affected by the feeling they have. Unusual feelings lead to unusual eating and unusual sleeping habits. Autistic children normally eat in fear, eat in sorrow and sleep with fear”)
·         Unusual mood or emotional reactions (“This is the results from stress and hurt that they have suffered”)
·         Lack of fear or more fear than expected. (“This comes from lack of understanding of the environment.”)
When I read these symptoms of autism, I got a chill. I visualized that these autistic kids had been gone through serious stress. Moreover, they are still being so stressful that they upset by minor changes. Observers can easily see and feel the stressed state through their actions, their reactions to the environment, and their reactions to stimulations of the environment. They can sense the stress chemicals available to autistic children. The effects of adrenaline, norepinephrine, and cortisone in table three: “the most symptoms of stress that we can find in many patients” may found in every autistic child.
Scientific of early signs:

In everyday activities, people may get the signs of short-term. The short-term stress can affect your body in any way, some of them include: People who are under stress always have symptoms inside the body described in table two: side effects of three chemicals creating stress, this also the signs of Gut Feeling. If people usually have high levels of the stress chemicals, they will have the symptoms or diseases caused by short-term stress and long-term stress, they will have the stress symptoms in physical health and mental health. Reading the table two, ordinary people can understand the symptoms of stress explained by physicians and therapists in medical books or medical websites.
The physical symptoms of short-term stress
    1.  Making heartbeat faster, this may lead to increase blood pressure in short term.
    2.  Making breath faster
    3.  Making sweat more
     4.  Leaving with cold hands, feet, or pale skin
    5.  Making feel sick to your stomach
     6.  Making feel sick to your stomach
     7.  Tightening muscles or feel tense
     8.  Dry mouth
     9.  Intestine problems
    10.    Increasing muscle spasms, headaches, and fatigue
     11.    Shortness of breath
      Bad effects on mind and performance of short-term stress
    1.  Interfering with judgment and causing to make bad decisions
    2.  Reducing the ability of logical thinking
   3.  Act irrationally and emotionally; easily fall to irrational thinking and irrational behaving.
    4.  Seeing normal situations as threatening
    5.  Reducing enjoyment in many activities, unable to laugh at funny things
    6.  Negative feelings: anxious, frustrated, or mad
    7.  Awake during sleep, nightmare or screaming during sleep with children
    8.  Loss of apatite
     9.  Making it difficult to concentrate to solve the problems and often have the distraction.
    10.   Feel of rejected by the group.
    11.   Afraid of free time, time to stay alone; like to spend time do many useless activities or kill time
    12.   Irritate inside
     13.   Unable to work, and not willing to discuss their problems with others
I want to find out what are the real causes of autism, I cannot satisfy with the presumed causes by some researchers: A genetic basis to autism, environmental pollution, or the Valproic acid - a medicine for seizures. If one of these causes is true, they can create the autistic mice in the laboratory. In fact, mice with autism have not yet successfully created; some researchers believe that the mice injected with Valproic acid have some autistic symptoms are not autistic mice. Moreover, if one of the above causes is true, so how can we explain the ratio between the numbers of autistic boys and autistic girls. Most of the living areas of autistic children are in cities, the very rare case of autistic children in the countryside, or rural areas. The fact there is all the above assumptions are wrong because these assumptions fail to prove the character of autism.
I think the real causes must belong to the lifestyle of family members (love), the caring for autistic children (connection), the energy in their families (peace - stress) and the ability of children; these are the four causes combine each other and create the effects on children.
Awaken you wonderful we: How do we create heaven on earth? The secret of one page table reveal all the real causes of all phenomena and problems by [DUY DAO, VAN]
The first health problem individuals possibly affect at the early stage of life is autism. If the infants’ needs of connection and love are not satisfied, the infants may become irritation, anger, and stress. Even worse, the stressful atmosphere in their family caused by parents can make the stress of children more severe. Close observation can easily realize the stressful atmosphere in the families of autistic children. Their parents may be stressful with work, society, financial problem; lack of love and support from the partner or tired with the boring partner. Parents become stressed, make a lot of crying, a lot of blame, a lot of fucking, shouting; a lot of ruling of “have to”, a lot of contempt signals. Many parents also get the symptoms of stress in table three: the most symptoms of stress that we can find in many patients. One of my vivid moments was about my first child three months ago, in the morning, he woke up, making some fun activities, but when he saw my wife suffering pain because of scram in her leg, he nearly burst into a tear. We had to hug him and calm him down. This has triggered in me with the thinking of what happening with children in the stressful family. I have read a lot of many mothers got depression after giving birth. The depression of the mothers comes from the stressful atmosphere in families that many readers and people have seen. How about the small children and the infants in those families, what suffering they have to bear; finding out the effects of a stressful environment on small children are my main concerns. Some people in Vietnam said that the mother and father with over 30 or 35 years old are too old for giving birth and their children may get the defects and problems. This is just the people’s assumption because the Westerners do not think that and they do not find the scientific proof for the assumption. After searching I found out that the habits, thinking, lifestyle, and emotion of the parents over 35 years old are too rigid, too tidy, too boring and too stressful for the forming and developing of fetus and children. The main concerns for the development of the children are the lifestyle and energy of living environment, it is not the number of years old of parents.
Lacking love, lacking connection combining with endless stress can create health problems in young kids. Depending on the varieties of stressful environment, of lacking love, of lacking connection, the infants can get the different degree of stressed state. The fact is the effects of stress on the physical ability and mental ability of children varies so much that scientists have to use the term of Autism spectrum disorders (ASD) to describe the variety of autism.
Children affect which symptoms in the list of symptoms depend on the degree of stress that they have to suffer from the environment. The ability of an individual depends on the stage of life, gender, characters, the instinct, strengths, and weaknesses. The ability of individuals, the lack of love, the lack of connection, the degree of the stressful environment and the intervention of physicians will determine the variety of autistic symptoms. The above combination varies so much that the symptoms and progression of autistic children have so many varieties, scientists have to use Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) to describe autism.
The basic symptoms of autism, illustrated by the table below, are often accompanied by other medical conditions. These symptoms are the results of the constant stressed state that the autistic children have suffered. The varieties of each symptom depend on the environment and the abilities of children. Each specific group of symptoms with the right degree can create a specific definition of illness in medical care.

Table 15: Basic symptoms of autism accompanied by other medical conditions
Core autism symptomsAssociated neurological issuesAssociated systemic issuesRelated disorders
Social deficitsSleep deficitsImmune dysfunctionSleep disorders
Language impairmentMood disordersGI disordersMood disorders
Repetitive behaviorsAnxiety
Anxiety disorders

Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder

Lack of attention
Obsessive-compulsive disorder


The autism and other health problems in young boys and young girls are the serious side effects of excessive stress chemicals; these excessive stress chemicals come from the bearing of extreme stress in life.
Infants and kids are afraid of big noises, aggressive environment, beating, shouting, unsafe environment. Most of all they are afraid of the beating, comparing with others by their angry parents. They are afraid of the activities that harm the six needs of human beings. They are so weak and fragile that they need love, connection, peaceful environment to grow. Unfortunately, in modern society, there are plenty of technology devices, which attract the attention of children and family members; it means that these devices take away the connection and love of small children. Parents lost a large amount of time to connect with their children and other members. Children do not get enough love and connection they feel uncomfortable with some symptoms of stress. If not handle well, they may be stressed and make some bad behaviors like crying, shouting, and screaming. Making bad behaviors, children may receive back the anger of their parents and adults; which may make children more hurting and stressed. Their discomfort makes their unconscious mind misinterprets many unsatisfied things as threatens from the environment. It activates the stress system in children’s bodies. Each time of stress, the small number of stress hormones pumped into the body and brain by themselves. If stress continues, it compounds into severe stress with many complications. 

The complication at first few years of life is autism; autistic children often have the stomach problem, which is the result of stress chemicals described in table three. Stomach disease usually occurs when people are worried, anxious and stressed. In the hospital, experienced doctors often prescribe the psychotic medications with gastric medication for patients with acute stomach ulcer after some severe incidence. Patients with serious trauma in the hospital usually prescribed the gastric medication to protect the stomach because the stress from trauma may upset the stomach. In fact, people experienced serious stress usually got acute gastroenteritis. Worry and stress are some of the main factors cause stomach pain or intestine problems. The autistic children usually have digestive problems is the proof that autistic children have been experiencing severe stress.
Why have the autistic children been gone through severe stress? During infant time, children are soft and weak. They need the love and connection of parents to feel protected, safe and happy. Children are extremely afraid of their parents to abandon them. Scientists have done a study to show how much love, how much connection animals need. In the documental film: “Emotional intelligence” of Daniel Gilbert has a short video to record this test. Researchers confined a baby monkey in a separate cage, left him very hungry. When the door of cage opened to free the baby monkey to run in a room, where there are milk and a sample model of mother monkey. The model of mother monkey and the bottle of milk were parallel, separated by a panel. The little monkey rushed to the model of mother monkey; he twisted, hugged and played joyfully with the monkey model even he was very hungry. This video set a deep impression on me about the obsessed need of love and connection that small babies need. It creates a chill in me when I hear or see some parents punish their children crucially. The crucial punishment may relieve the anger for parents and make the children so afraid to obey the orders, but crucial punishment also leaves a big scar in children’s soul. Their ignorance and ego of parents are so big enough that parents do not know they are creating bad karma for their children and society.

In some distressful families, parents always argue, blame, and shout at each other. They do not make enough love action, they do not care much for others to satisfy each other’s needs. Parents’ basic needs are not satisfied, it creates stress in the family. This is the beginning of tragedy to their small children. To some extent, the financial situation makes them worried, along with lack of love, lack of support and lack of connection that make parents sad, angry and anxious. If the sadness, anger, and worry are not calmed down, parents may get severe stress. Some mothers even get depressed after giving birth. Because of being busy at work, spending time with technology equipment, parents spend very little time with their infants. This time is not enough to satisfy the need for love and connection of the infants. Even worse, not only lacking the number of times parents spend with their children but also is the quality of time they spend with their children is terrible. They hug their children in anger, sadness and contempt mood. Even worse, there are some breastfeeding mothers feed the child while they are sad and crying because of the stress and loneliness. These sources milk is poisonous for their children’s physical and mental development. The infants lack love and live in a stressful environment with big noise, big cursing, big cry, less of hugging and kissing, lack of talking face to face. The subconscious of children is alerted and sensible to detect unwanted things and threatening signals. Moreover, they are too weak, too fragile; they do not have the ability and receive enough support to calm the arousing mind. These lead to over stimulate the mind, create an extremely stressed state, even worse, some children fall into seizures and panic state at the early stage of life. Full of chemical stress circulate around the young bodies. Repeated many times, children may be conditioned the stress responses to the environment. After conditioning, children easily become stress as the responses to mild stimulations.
Some watchful mothers can read these early abnormal signs. Children may have the early symptoms of overload adrenalin and norepinephrine and cortisone: sweating, nausea, and vomiting, crying, pale skin, feeling shortness of breath, dizziness, weakness or tremors, headache, feeling nervous or anxious, a lot of crying, screaming, and sudden awake at night. These are the signs of stressed children. These symptoms may have long before the symptoms of autism. These symptoms listed in table three: the most symptoms of stress that we can find in many patients. The children start to cry a lot and or have some abnormal actions. If parents can intervene in time, they can save their children. They can calm the children with their love by hugs, time of contact, time of talking, and with a peaceful state of their mind.
Autistic children do not have the ability to read the emotional signals, so they misinterpret and cannot understand well with the emotional signals they receive. To join in community, the most important skill is reading and understanding the thinking and feelings of opposite people by the emotional signals. Lack of connection and lack of love at the early stage of life, autistic children do not understand these signals and tend to afraid of these signals. People usually afraid of or overreact to things they do not understand.
In this world, there is always danger for those who are afraid of it”.
George Bernard Shaw
Autistic children are not able to interact and understand the other person’s ideas. It means they lack emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand human emotions, which formed in the early stage of human life. The infants have the premature brain, the brain is in process of developing to mature brain during several first years of their life. Children crave for human affection, love, and human connection to feel protected, safe and happy. The happy state during the early childhood is the best condition for the perfection of the immature brain. On the other hand, stress state during early childhood is the worst condition for the perfection of the immature brain. It is very dangerous if bad thing interferes with the perfection of the immature brain. The bad intervention can leave the defect in brain structures and brain functions.
The role of connection and love to the development of newborn baby may found in the living of children in orphanages. During earlier stages of life in the orphanage, the infant babies have cared well; they have enough support for physical development. Children in orphanages do not have to live in a stressful environment like autistic babies. Unfortunately, they do have enough love and do not have enough connection with the human being to form social skills in critical time. The lack of love and connection can abnormalities to the orphans’ mind and brain and create a little stress on them. The effects of abnormalities and mild stress are obvious after they adopted by their parents; some adopted children have a lot of difficulties to join in communities, new family, and classes. These adopted children lack the critical skills to survive in human society. Joining in everyday activities in society is much easy with normal children, but it is very difficult and stressful with children from orphanages. At the early stage of life, children in orphanages lack love and connection with human being in the most important period of developing of the brain. The lack of love and connection during the development of the brain leads to the lacking of vital social skills. To some extent, the autistic children also lack these vital social skills as the children in orphanages because they lack love, lack of connection, lack of vital skills and living in a stressful environment. Fortunately, the children in orphanages do not have to live in a stressful environment like autistic children, so that they have different problems with the autistic children.
Why these autistic children lack social skills but some autistic children have good abilities in logic and learning other skills. Most Autistic children like to look at cubic things and moving objects. They do not pay much attention to the emotion signals from faces and eyes of people. Perhaps they lack emotional skill; they are not good at emotional intelligence so that they cannot understand the importance of eyes and faces in expressing information. Lacking ability to understand messages, emotions, or feelings in people’s eyes and faces make them not interested in seeing it. Not seeing the face makes them miss many chances of learning, interacting to improve emotional intelligence. In the human world, interaction skill is the most important skill for good living in a human society where people mainly communicate with emotional signals. Lacking social skill, autistic children find it is hard to integrate into the community. Early first signs, the children are indifferent, not concentrated, slow language and aggression, making strange behaviors, doing things unnaturally. These are the indicators that children are under stress and have emotional disorders. Autistic children cannot read other people's emotions in the environment so they are afraid of interacting with people. They chose to stay away from the crowd to protect them from the harm.

Most autistic children are in the cities, in industrial zones, rarely in rural villages. Because in cities autistic children have less time connecting with nature and other human beings, less time of playing freely, less time to play with other kids than the children live in rural areas. They only play with toys, televisions, phones in artificial spaces, these things only make interested for short time. These spaces have no vitality, no energy, no fun and nothing that stimulates and creates curiosity in children. The young children need the space of living, which is funny, freely, naturally and rich in energy to create more energy in children. The energy of children and environment exchanges in many ways we do not know. Therefore, there is little energy in artificial places of living. You see how tasteless when watching artificial flowers with closed, clean spaces versus how joyful for children plant a rose in the garden, watering it and watch its growing with blooming flowers. The difference between the energy in the countryside and the energy in the home of autistic children may be the same as the difference between the energy in kindergarten and the energy with nursing homes. I have worked with two Singaporean doctors; they made me rethink about the role of natural environment. One doctor shows very interested with a mantis in his flowers pot; he took a lot of pictures of the mantis and post on his facebook with excitement. Astonishing with his works because in the countryside of Vietnam, we see a lot of mantises on the trees. The other Singaporean doctor told that he is very like to live in Vietnam because after working hours, he can go to see hundreds of ducks swimming, birds singing, cows and buffalos on fields. You can sense that energy of joy by seeing the happiness in the eyes and actions of children; as a father, just seeing or remembering this kind of actions of my child help me understand how important to give space for the children to playing freely with full energy. 
If kids are not satisfied with their deep need and have to live with the boring environment, they gradually lose interest, lack of vital skills and dull their instinct. Lacking energy from environment make kids uncomfortable, lose the interest in things, in life, lose the enthusiasm to read environment, do not feel happy, and do not feel energetic in living; they become indifferent with life. These are the signs of losing the vital fuel of life, lacking the active energy. If paying attention to the behaviors, the emotions and the reactions of the children, parents can have a better understanding of their children, their energy, and emotions they have. If there are any abnormities in the behaviors and emotions of children, parents need to solve those abnormities as soon as possible. Parents should care for the fluidity and the natural manner in behaviors of young children; even parents should try hard to encourage their children to speak funny words, silly words, playing freely. Most importantly is making children smile; parents should make stressed children smile as much as possible. Because smiling is in action shows that children feel safe, secured, protected and extremely joyful. Parents should take precaution to unnatural signals every time like rigidity and stiffness in actions, lack of emotion in actions, lack of energy and enthusiasm in playing of young children; these signals are against nature, it means that children may feel unsafe. Parents have to get a real understanding and make their children feel safe.
In the rigid environment, children’s needs are not satisfied, they may feel uncomfortable; their unconscious mind activates the chemical of stress in case of need for their safety. Live in a closed, rigid environment, children may lose all chances of forming some vital skills to deal with problems in real life, especially in a stressful situation. Small children in the countryside are more likely to play with nature, to play with one another, with friends of the same age; they have tremendous opportunities to learn, think, negotiate, play, and interact with other human beings; these activities sharpen their vital social skills. Gradually, owning for the supportive environment children can increase their intelligence; the intelligence may be the combination of emotional intelligent (EQ), adaptive intelligent (AQ), spiritual intelligence (SQ), social intelligence (SQ), and intelligent quotient (IQ). In my opinions, if the environment supports well for the children, they can develop these multiple intelligences astonishingly. Children in rural areas can gain some good skills from playing in nature that helps them adapt well to the changes and pressures from the environment. The disadvantage of children in rural areas is they lack a good education, lack of time and resources for studying. To some extent, the difference of the living environments has helped the children in rural areas overcome the family stress better than autistic children in the city.

“Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better.”
                                                                             Albert Einstein
Children in the city have less chance to interact with others; they spend most of the time on television, smartphones and playing toys. Time for parents in city play with children is very little. Most of the time children in Vietnam spend time with the domestic helpers who have little connection, compassion and little love for children; they only for care physiological needs. Most of the domestic helpers rarely talk, embrace and hug children with love like their parents do. These domestic helpers without emotion are like robots. The first important stage of life of autistic children in the city, they have far less time spent on direct contact, direct communication, close connecting and close interacting with other people than normal children do. If paying attention, parents can read the early signs of stress and indifference in their children. When parents and adults in city arguing loudly, a lot of shouting and crying, the autistic children lie in bed with frailty, scare, intense, and trembling. They are in extreme stress state with a lot of stress chemicals run throughout the body. Early visible problem is stomach upset with a lot of vomiting and excessive acid. Each stress, cortisone, adrenalin, and nor-epinephrine pumped into the body. Children activate the stress system as if they are in a dangerous environment; all functions reduced, just putting all the effort into stress state like “fight or flight”. Unfortunately, they cannot fight and they cannot fly except crying and screaming. Stressed children may turn away, have feelings of insecure, indifferent to many things and do not look at their parents' eyes. Because of fear and stress, when parents hug them, they resist with the stiffness in muscle, do not put their head on their parent's shoulder comfortably; they cry more often, sudden awake during sleep. These are the signals that children are in problems. When there is stress in the family, the autistic children are the weakest member of the family, bearing the most consequences of the stress, conflict and negative emotions in the family. They have signals of stress with more watchful, awake and unsafe at home as if they are in the new environment. They need the love and connection of parents to calm negative feelings down. If parents misread the behaviors of children, they not only miss the opportunity for their children to gain the materials to support the development of emotional intelligence in the previous phase of life but also, they worsen the stress that their children have to bear. Observing children in safe, we will see they are stretching arms, playing freely and naturally; talking and singing endlessly, smiling all day, making many funny and silly actions; hugging comfortably and sleep comfortably on the shoulder of parents.
Why is the earlier stage of life the precious time? Precious time relates to the development of the brain. Infant's brain lack lots of normal functions; infant babies cannot see, cannot hear; they just feel the emotions and energy from the surrounding. The first stage of life is the period of the rapid perfection of the brain. It will be very dangerous when the first phase of this life is interrupted, especially caused by panic or stress. If we look at the living conditions of autistic children, there is a lot of pressure and negative energy, which is harsh and stressful for the immature brain of the children.
If we make statistics of direct interaction time between parents with autistic children and parents with normal children, we will see the relation. Epidemiology of autism also shows that when parents are older, their children are more likely to have autism. For me, this is evidence of poor energy in interaction and less connection and the bad lifestyle of living. The old people often prefer more silence, serious in action, strict in order and neatness than the young parents do. This also reduces the chance of playing for children and creates additional psychological pressure for the children.
Why the number of autistic boys higher than the number of autistic girls, which is four times higher in the United States and eight times higher in Vietnam. This is the evidence of an advantage in individual ability; here is the instinctive advantage of gender. From ancient time, women were often at home, doing agriculture works, caring for and protecting their children from danger. Thus, they created a high degree of emotional intuition; quick understand the child feelings; and a comprehensive scanning the intention of strangers. Mothers have to have good judgment of stranger’s intention standing behind their children in a blink of an eye. Just listening to the crying of their babies, mothers can understand what the babies need, are they in danger or not. This ability is perfect for the instinct of mothers because it is formed from the early stages of life. With them, emotional skills and social skills are the most prioritized. Baby girls prioritize develop emotional and social skills earlier than baby boys do. With good interaction intelligence, baby girls tend to care for other, smile, make fun, talk and affection behaviors more than baby boys at the same age. In Vietnam, cute girls usually get more hugging, cuddling, loving action, kissing on cheeks and talking than baby boys do. In characters relate to gender, girls are familiar with adjective “cute” which belongs to emotional intelligence and boys are familiar with adjective “smart” which belong to logical intelligence. Baby girls usually like to play the game with emotions like playing with dolls, playing drama, when becoming older they like the work of caring for people. These are the reasons that the emotional intelligence of girls formed earlier than boys do.
On the others hand, boys are different. In the ancient environment: men hunted, built houses and fought. Therefore, men need broad coverage, fast and accurate action with strength. The intelligence optimal for men roles and functions is logical and spacing, and reasoning intelligence. Most boys form IQ, logic, reasoning earlier than girls do. The most favorite games of boys are matching, fixing, repairing and playing number games, which require logical thinking. This is the reason why modern scientists, engineers, IT, mathematicians are mostly men. In boys, development of logical thinking during the first year of childhood is the most prioritized. Emotional intelligence is not optimal for the roles of men so that emotional intelligence can develop later.
A team of researchers led by psychologist Stuart Ritchie, a date of an ongoing, long-term biomedical study of people living in the United Kingdom with 500,000 enrollees. Researchers found that women tended to have significantly thicker cortices than men have. Thicker cortices have been associated with higher scores on a variety of cognitive and general intelligence tests. Meanwhile, men had higher brain volumes than women in every subcortical region they looked at, including the hippocampus (which plays broad roles in memory and spatial awareness), the amygdala (emotions, memory, and decision-making), striatum (learning, inhibition, and reward processing), and thalamus (processing and relaying sensory information to other parts of the brain).
The problem begins to happen to the small young boys, who have logical intelligence, spatial intelligence and do not have emotional intelligence, live in stressful condition. These young boys lack of love, lack of connection and have to bear the stress, conflict of the environment in the early stages of life. Because of sexual instinct, girls have the opportunity to develop emotional intelligence earlier than boys do, so they have the ability to resolve the conflict, calm stress so that, to some extent, stress or conflict does not harm them at the earlier stage of life. Otherwise, the earlier development of logical intelligence and spatial intelligence does not help baby boys in dealing with stress; in a stressful environment, boys tend to fall into extreme stress. Owning for the difference in the instinct of gender, girls do not fall into a state of severe stress as most boys do. Only a small difference, formed earlier, have helped girls become more prominent than boys in combating autism.
The habit of autistic children perhaps is the evidence that boys have formed the intelligence of space and logic before affecting autism. This logic and space intelligence have been showed when autistic children play; many autistic boys turn his gaze on cubic things; they like to put, match cubic things in stack or sequences. I wonder if the intelligence of the baby boys has any relation with the intelligence of their parents.
The difference created from emotional intelligence between boys and girls in dealing with stress may obviously found in the two situations of conversation. If given a task for a female comedian to ask her professor for letting her retakes the exam because of a bad result. Simultaneously, if giving a task for a male engineer to ask his professor for letting him retakes the exam because of a bad result. We will see many the differences on their faces, the atmosphere of conversation, and the quality of conversations. The female comedian is more open-minded, more flexible than the male engineer is. The first conversation is flexible full of smiling, cheerfulness, and relaxation; the conversation is very interesting. In reverse, the second conversation is rigid with full of anxiety, rigidity, stress, a lot of mumbling; the second conversation is so stressful boring. The first conversation both people are relaxed, the unconscious mind detect the signal of safe and happy; the happy state is activated, so both people are happy, more open to talking. The positive energy of the first conversation creates a good result that satisfies both people in a natural way. On the others hand, the male engineer’s behaviors are so rigid that the conversation may make him have a feeling of stress, anxiety, boring and misery during the second conversation. These signals are caught by the subconscious mind of the professor so that it makes the professor in the state of alert; these alert signals also be caught by the engineer man. Both men in the state of a little stress, people can feel the reserved and closed signals. The answer engineer man gets tend to fit with the atmosphere of conversation. The difference in EQ of both intelligent individuals can make different results in social life. Perhaps, these differences accumulating with time is the most contribution to create outliers.
If look close to autistic children or children with other mental problems, we can see they are nervous, panic, startled, frightened and paralyzed and apathetic to many things in the environment. The nervous system of autistic children is not fully developed. First few years of life are the precious time for children to complete the brain and nervous system. They need emotional materials from the interaction, from love, from the adoring eyes of loved ones, from cuddling, patting, from the warmth of hugs and many social behaviors to perfect the development of the immature brain. Moreover, there is always tensions and stress in the stage of developing the immature brain. That leads to the formation of the brain with many dysfunctional functions. Researchers have seen individuals with autism tend to use different areas of the brain to perform mobility tasks compared to normal groups.
There are no same specific signals and symptoms in every autistic child. Autism is a disorder of the whole body system, evolving over time and constantly interacting with many factors from the environment. As a result, people use a rainbow ring as a symbol to describe the diversity of autism.
How about the young babies left in the jungle, adopted by animals? These babies lack connection with human beings, lack of support for physical development, lack of love from parents so they lack social human skills. To some extent, they get a close connection, love, and care for wild animals. By the imitation and the influence of the living condition, these children have learned some survival skills, which help them overcome the problems in wildlife. Living with the wild animals, these children have conditioned with the responses of these wild animals. The repeated of responses in babies by the influence of the environment of living created the animal habits in the babies adopted by animals. From the adopted habits, repeated many times, the individuals will have specific adopted animal characters. These animal characters make them very difficult to live with other human beings.
By experimental in mice, we can see these effects of lacking love, connection and excessive stress on the development of animals during the early stage of life. If the mouse is isolated and put in the over-stressful state by shocking at the early stage of life, we will get the autistic mouse. If the mouse is not isolated and being over-stressful, we will get a mouse with some of side effect symptoms of stress described in table three. If the mouse is isolated from the early stage of life and not being stressful, it will be very difficult for the mouse to join in a normal activity with others mice because of lacking the interaction skills. These are also the problem with the animals in the zoo, the tamed animals; if we free these mature animals into the jungle, they will die soon because of lacking vital skills for survival and connection with other animals. If my guessing is right, this will be an evidence of real problems in our modern society. Infants and young babies are the first victims of the problems.
This can be a curse to our future generation who belongs too much to machines, artificially intelligent and robots, technology devices and living in the environment with lack of love, lack intimate action and lack human connection and lack of support. The new conditions of living from now on will entirely different to any conditions in the previous history. The new condition has conditioned the new responses, new skills for our future generations. Unfortunately, these new responses are not helpful for us to cope with stress. In fact, the conditioned responses children adopted from the condition of living make them more stress with the stressful environment and diminish the ability to learn new vital skills. Lacking vitals skills lead them to be more stressful; in return, the stress worsens the ability to learn vital skills. Gradually, the combination of a stressful environment and lacking social skills create many problems for personal, family and society.
 To this point, we can see autistic children have lost their emotions and defect in brains. Most autistic children have a less emotional expression, no attention to the emotions of the opposite person when interacting. So the brain affected, losing the function of the normal brain. If late in realizing the problems with children, it will be very difficult to help autistic children because the brain has already completed the basic development. The brain of autistic children lacks normal structures, the normal connection between the parts of the brain compared to the normal brain. Treatment by the specialist is very difficult, expensive and not much effective if not taking the roots of problems. Many accompanying symptoms in autistic children are treatable with some medicines. The most effective way is parents and adults can check themselves and their kids with the symptoms of overstress chemicals described in table three: “the most symptoms of stress that we can find in many patients”. If yes, they can make an intervention as quickly as possible with these real causes.
I have taken the time to practice compassion with the feelings of any children I met who are punished severely by their children. Especially the children when their parents are quarreling. Sometimes I cannot stand the ten minutes in places of those children with the pain, fear, and injury they are bearing. Their parents dive into personal anger and stress so blindly that they do not pay any attention to their children who are extremely fearful and stressful. Furthermore, the conflicts make them less talking, less chatting, less making love action, less caring, less direct talking, and less interacting to soothe the stress of the child. The stress and pain they are bearing lead them to lack of interesting to studying, lack of supporting and lack of vital skills. These are the first step of endless circles of stress that they have to bear.
In my mind, the overreacting, rebelling, indifferent responding, screaming and shouting with the anger of some children are not the intentional behaviors; they are the conditioned action as the responses to the stressful condition. They fall into the stressed state because of their wrong perceiving thoughts, their wrong perceiving opinions from the environment; and their overreactions to the environment. These kids are the individuals that need the love, connection, compassion, understanding and patience from their parents the most. Please do not hurt them anymore.
Remember the moment you have a feeling of insecurity, anxiety, and fear when you are in a strange environment, difficult situations, and dangerous situations. How much love, how much support and how much caring, do you need in those situations? The autistic children have badly experienced the insecurity, anxiety, fear and extreme stress in early-stage life. The feeling of pain and insecure make children not only lost the enthusiasm, and refuse to learn new skills; but also make the results of learning is terrible. The children getting severe stress in the early stage of life lack a lot of essential skills for social interaction. The lacking of vital social skills makes them afraid of coming to a new crowd, a new environment, and new places. The autistic children mostly separated from nature and human interaction by the inadvertent or deliberate blind love of their parents; the isolation makes the children have less chance and less enthusiasm for learning social skills which leads to abnormalities in the mind and brain of the autistic children. The children lack some vital skills for social interaction. The lacking makes the child hesitate, afraid to interact with strangers, afraid the crowd; feel unsafe, unprotected in the condition need interacting. They seek security, safety by living alone.
Sometimes, when kids hunger for love, for being cared for, for being wanted, they act in different or abnormal ways to satisfy the hunger. Parents and adults usually misinterpret these abnormal behaviors as the behaviors of spoilt children. They may disappointed and angry; even worse, parents may use violence to punish their children violently. The punishment of parents can make children so afraid that they stop the abnormal behaviors; but the hunger, cause of unwanted behaviors, is still in the children, furthermore, the punishment of parents can lead to severe stress for their children. I have heard many stories of naughty children transformed into good and talent ones by the love, the care for of parents or teachers; who have the empathy with the children and since the deepen need of children. They use loving and caring action, compassion, patience, and respect to nurture the hidden talents within the naughty children.
Medications can relieve the symptoms, but cannot cure autism. Some researchers have figured out some ways help to relieve the symptoms:
Some researchers have injected autistic mice with oxytocin, and they found oxytocin has some good effects on autistic mice. They think of carrying out more researchers to find a way to apply oxytocin to treat autistic children in the future. As we know, oxytocin is a natural hormone appears when people make close contact: make love, have sex, kiss, hug, playing with parents and children, and breastfeeding. These intimacy activities help create oxytocin in both parents and autistic children; which helps them feel more inspired and happy to overcome the stress. When the mothers give birth, oxytocin released at the highest peak. If mothers do not have much close contact with the children; do not make love and get affection from fathers, all parents and their children will be lack of oxytocin, this leads to lack of joy and happiness in family life and makes stress for all members. Some mothers are so stressful after giving birth that they may get depressed. Mothers and children in the family are the early victim of stress in the family. If test them with the question with the symptoms in table three, we will know how much stress they are.

Some experts found that pets: dogs, cats, parrots can relieve symptoms in autistic kids. In fact, dogs, cats, parrots are the emotional animal. I think pets create a little feeling of being loved, being cared for, being wanted for autistic children so that they can relieve the symptoms in autistic kids. In fact, these feelings so little compare to the feeling that parents can give to them.
“All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.”
                                                Abraham Lincoln
These may be the sharing of most successful people who have a happy childhood, their mother or father may not have a college education, but they may have they Ph.D. in parenting.
These are the evidence show that the most effective way to help autistic children is eliminating the stress in children by the unconditional love, the connection, the caring of parents and family members. Infants, especially autistic children need much more love and connection by more hug, more intimacy talk, more talk eye to eye, more kiss, more skin contact, more caring, affection actions, more contact with other people. Parents can massage children more regular; help children exposing to nature more often, and make children happy by creating a peaceful and happy environment of living.
 When the children become older, if they may be more stressful because the four causes lack love, lack of connection, lack of vital skills for interaction and live in the stressful environment; they will get many other health problems or diseases. The seriousness of problems depends on the seriousness of stress, the lack of connection, the lack of love and the lack of social skills. They may get the diseases in the category of top ten diseases or the top ten causes of death in every country in the world.
Van Duy Dao. Awaken you wonderful we. Amazon. (2017)

Thank and best regards,
Van Dao
More reading:

1.     Conditioned responses, the world have conditioned All things we have are the results of conditioned responses
2.     How did Hitler seduce the mind of millions of people and soldiers?
4.     Love is a verb, right understanding is unconditional love, how to get the right understanding?
5.      The real cause of human problems: Autism, Depression, The four causes of human problems
6.      Seasonal Stress in America kill the most, not cold, heat or flu
7.     The Lacking of Modern World in the Teaching of Lao Tzu
8.     The Lacking of Solvable Major Cause Modern Society leads to the Stress World.
9.     The Potential of Brain: Intuitive Mind and Gut Feelings from Awaken you wonderful we
10. The root causes of depression, stress, Autism, ADHD
11. The Stressed World: this is our problems
Useful advice for stressed mother stressed parents

Videos to watch to awaken you: Awaken You Wonderful We on Amazon

 Michael Jackson - Earth Song (Official Video) 

Kelly Clarkson - Because Of You (VIDEO): Chorus of the good kids that parents do not know


Autism -ADHD - Depression The hidden relation reveals the cause, prediction, prevention and ...

Autism -ADHD - Depression The hidden relation reveals the cause, prediction, prevention and ...


Autism Speaks. (n.d).Symptoms. Retrieved July 19, 2017, from
National Autism Association. (n.d.) Signs of Autism. Retrieved July 19, 2017, from
Price, Michael. (2017, April 11). Study finds some significant differences in the brains of men and women. Retrieved July 19, 2017, from

Copyright © Van Duy Dao. Awaken You Wonderful We.

You are free to use copy or citation for fair use

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